the things i Eat

darn economic downturn/recession, making sandwiches narrower. so i was hungry, as i am from time to time, so i went to a local sandwich shop which just happens to be a chain, by local i mean not very far away. They generally are a bit more pricey than subway but have higher quality ingredients. Well they needed a cheaper menu option so they came out with a new sandwich. Well in order to save money they made is really narrow… super narrow, it was like eating a foot long hotdog that was full of sandwich. it messes with your mind, you think this sandwich is too small, it will never fill me. but then reality sets in, and the fact that it is a foot long and it does.

did it fill me up? did it feel like a rip off? yes to both
did i feel satisfied and will buy one again? yes

mmm phish food. I just got done eating some phish food. it is one of my favorite ice creams. ==insert your own transition== So i went to the rouge lobster the other day for the first time. i was not impressed. sure i don’t like fish but still it wasn’t that good. the portions were little, it took for ever and my food was cold. after waiting like a hour i just ate it cuz i didn’t want to wait a second hour to get it warmed. garr.!!! garr !!! ==insert witty remark== so um it was not that good. speaking of good things, i baked some banana bread. i love that stuff. i could eat it every day. I need to get some more bananas to ripen so i can bake a second loaf. ok end of my quick note.

so i wanted to eat a little better and i want to to eat fast food. where can these 2 ideas converge? riding my bike to mcdonalds. I rode over today to get some food. well thats not true, i went on a bike ride and passed a mcdonalds and said to myself, hey i should get some food. so i did, i got some and rode home to eat it. well it was fun but i shouldn’t continue. i recently discovered that i weigh about 18 units of weight, but i should only weigh about 12 units of weight. so that means i need too loose about a third of my weight to be at the “ideal weight” according to modern medical science. so that leads me to 2 possible options. option one work out more but that just leads to being more hungry so i eat more which negates the value. option 2 do nothing and play video games. i choose number 2. what does modern medicine know anyway. i don’t think i have weighed 12 units of weight since i was 12. Hey maybe i should weigh one unit of weight per year i live. my new plan is to gain weight until my weight in arbitrary weight units and age match. I guess i could just change my arbitrary units but that is just silly. maybe i could just change the units of measure so that way i weigh 12 units. Bam done, i weigh 12 units of weight, goal met. and people say weight loss is hard.

remember sometimes life demands two tenses in one sentence.

Well as promised its time for my semi-tri-annual q and a session.
I have compiled best questions that have been submitted by you!!

What do you consider to be the most versatile food of all time?

i would have to say honey due to its longevity and its strength compared to the dollar.

If the year were 1964 what flavor cupcake would you eat?

um no question it would have to be schnozeberry.

Is Vermont maple syrup truly superior to Mrs. Butterworth in your expert opinion?

Well it depends on the usage I would say. If you are going to chug it i would lean towards the Vermont. Well if i was just feeling to lazy to put butter and syrup on my pancakes i would go with Mrs. Butterworths.

Are you a fan of cooking shows? And if so which is a favorite?

well yes and no, i am theologically in support of them but there is not one that has ever caught my fancy enough to watch it regularly. i would love to eat some of paula dean’s cooking but i don’t like the show too much. one show that i did watch regularly a few years ago was iron chef. I watched back before they had the American version. I like how they have to think fast and work with the a surprise ingredient. It is cool to see what they can do with some of the weird ones, but i like when they have something good to work with. Some of the food is rather stupendous looking. /* i think that stupendous is not used nearly enough. */ soooo long story short i do like some but don’t watch them much cuz they just make me hungry and wish i had a huge kitchen with every tool and supply possible.

my favorite cooking show ever is this one here i cant stress enough how much i recommend that one.

My co-worker insists cheese and peanut butter sandwiches are a tasty combination…I am skeptical, are you?

no question should be possibly could be good. i am basing my strong convition on this matter on the fact that these rock my socks off.

If you could create a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor what would it be and what would you name it?

Ben and Jerry’s??? why would i make ben and Jerry’s i would make Drew and Drewj ice cream. I think that the flavor i would have to create is 9x chocolatier chunk uber peanut butter Cup with a gram cracker crust in a cheesecake ice cream. I think i would call it Napoleon.

oh by the way i love phish food ice cream from ben and Jerry’s, the band is just ok, but the ice cream is amazing.

hello folks.
I had some tasty treats. a loyal reader of this grade a publication made some cupcakes of chocolateie goodness. they were amazingly moist and flavorful. from what I am told they are not to bad for you either. thanks kelly.

I also want to take a minute to talk about the golden ratio of sauce. I hate when people brake the rule and I am sure others have suffered needlessly as I. there is a magical ratio of sauce to sandwich. for generations sauce and sandwich have formed a symbiotic relationship of balance and shwey. if there is a shortage the sandwich risks being to dry. more often however there is too much and the sandwich slides all over. I hate when I need a pair or rubber gloves and some waiders to eat my sandwich. I hate when the insides launch out when I try to hold it. maybe I should just bring some wraps with me everywhere I go. I could just use them as a outer wrap around my sandwiches.

well I am of for now.

I think my next post is going to be a q and a so send in those questions

so i was at the local movie renter, waiting in line to check out. there was a bunch of people in front of me, i guess they all needed to rent a copy of the bratz movie the day it came out so i had some time to kill. i was standing next to the candy and notice a cookie shaped like stewie for family guy. family guy is one of my favorite shows so i figured it would taste good. well, weeeeellll, i think they made the cookie during the first run of the show. It was so dry it exploded into a poof of crumbs the second i put any pressure on it. well it looked cool,

oh welll.

should have snapped in to a slim jim.

Today I ate food. And now I’m dictating my blog. This is my first log using dictation. It will be a good experience to learn and develop my dictation skills. As for food… Today I had pancakes. With Mrs. Butterworth on top. Mrs. Butterworth is good because it saves time because you don’t have to put on any butter. I think whoever invented Mrs. Butterworth syrup must have been lazy far too lazy to put butter and syrup upon their pancakes. I think however that this person is a hero to the common man. Especially the lazy lacking initiative slacker like me. I hope someday to improve the world of food to such a degree through my endeavors in food. So far my attempts to add butter to other condiments has not been very successful. I’ve spent many hours in my laboratory trying to perfect the most delicious butter based condiment ever. I first tried it makes catchup with butter than mustard with butter but my most promising experiments so far has to be mixing I can’t believe it’s not butter with actual butter to create double butter.

Well back to the subject…

I also had eggs the scramble style with my pancakes. Why is it that breakfasts is more appealing at night. Most people seem to like breakfasts in the evening better than they do during the day. Maybe it feels more special when it at the wrong time. Maybe if diners sold only dinner food for breakfast more people would buy breakfast. Maybe I should start a diner and become a millionaire with my new plan.

is food preparation always cooking? or does heat have to be involved? is microwaving cooking? I think that most people would say that the answer to all of the these questions is no. That’s what i have always thought but understanding of the food world has been shaken. What if good food is created in a microwave is that cooking? I mean high quality tastes good food. If that is true then why is crappy food cooked on the stove cooking?

Well that’s enough philosophy for one post.

On to the matter at hand.

Why is it that food that tastes good is generally bad for you? On an unrelated note. HAM why have it for Christmas? What’s the connection/\? Is Ham Santa’s favorite food? Can the elves even pick up a ham, or do they use little ham forklifts? I bet the reason for all the ham is a cleaver ploy on the part of the anti-ham association of America. I bet they pushed to have Ham be number one in the 20s and 30s so that people would eat so much around Christmas that they would hate ham for a whole year until they for get about it and have it again at Christmas. That way the overall sales falls low and they only have to concede one week a year to the hamifists.
Why is there no food connected to New Years day. Just alcohol?

penny is money. sooooo i went to the mall to get some jackets and pants. i got very hungry there and i needed some food. The only place in the food court was a cookie store or a thai food store. i was going to go for 7 cookies but i figured i should eat something more substantial. I got some spicy chicken and Basel. like the thermometer. it was very hot, like 183.45632 degrees. like burning my soul hot. also it had a lot of pepper in it which heated me up even more. I had to drink about 64oz of moutian dew per 7oz of food but it was worth it. It was very good. i would go there again for sure. normaly it costs like $30 to get food in a mall but this place was very reasonable. It was like $7 for a foam container of food and a 30oz pop.

so to make a long post short famous dave is the man.

that brings me to a life changing philosophical question. was dave famous before the bbq or because of the bbq? well he was little did he go by famous dave because he was a track star? maybe his mom named him famous dave.

sooo famous dave’s is a great place to eat. I would eat there every day if my cholesterol was below 250. maybe if i get some lipitor i can. on a side note my spell checker program (yes i have one) thinks that lipitor should be clitoral. that might be due to marketing on the part of glaxo welcome or what ever they are called, there using sex in advertising for everything these days. (later research into the matter shows that lipitor is actually made by Pfizer (who i like more cuz the used to have jobs in kzoo)).

when ever i go to famous dave’s i get some kinda sampler platter thinger. I can never decide which type of red meat i want. Plus pork is “the other white meat” so i feel like i am sticking with my reduced red meat diet when i eat it. so i got the “bbq buddies” which is a sampler of 4 different meats on little buns. you get brisket, sausage, chopped pork, and pulled pork. My favorite is definitely the pork. i like both options, chopped or pulled its all good.