the things i Eat

so to make a long post short famous dave is the man.

that brings me to a life changing philosophical question. was dave famous before the bbq or because of the bbq? well he was little did he go by famous dave because he was a track star? maybe his mom named him famous dave.

sooo famous dave’s is a great place to eat. I would eat there every day if my cholesterol was below 250. maybe if i get some lipitor i can. on a side note my spell checker program (yes i have one) thinks that lipitor should be clitoral. that might be due to marketing on the part of glaxo welcome or what ever they are called, there using sex in advertising for everything these days. (later research into the matter shows that lipitor is actually made by Pfizer (who i like more cuz the used to have jobs in kzoo)).

when ever i go to famous dave’s i get some kinda sampler platter thinger. I can never decide which type of red meat i want. Plus pork is “the other white meat” so i feel like i am sticking with my reduced red meat diet when i eat it. so i got the “bbq buddies” which is a sampler of 4 different meats on little buns. you get brisket, sausage, chopped pork, and pulled pork. My favorite is definitely the pork. i like both options, chopped or pulled its all good.

who decides what is finger food and what is not? Why can’t i eat a cup of soup with my fingers but i can eat a messy doughnuts with them? and what about the people who don’t like their food to touch. How do they allow the chef to make somethings touch but not others. I mean if they truly didn’t like their food to touch wouldn’t they want everything separate? and then they would have a bunch of piles of uncombined ingredients. and then next what about the people who don’t like sub shops cuz they can make it at home, and don’t want to pay for something they could make at home. Why go to any restaurant ever. With enough time and practice you could make any food out there. Well to some degree; some of it might turn out like my recipe below. But the principle is sound.

well enough random crap, i have a new goal, i want to be able to cut things as fast as mr Miyagi. So am going to go cut up a few dozen onions and peppers, and roast them in some mayonnaise and hot sauce and then kiss my wife.

moral of the story i love Jimmy Johns!

I mean why make it look all fancy and have the fillings on the inside of the eggs. It tastes just as good to mix it all up and make it a “skillet.” The only difference is the amount of time wasted trying make it look perfect. Why bother. Ok maybe i am just being bitter because all of my omelets just look like i threw them in a blender. I don’t even try any more. I just throw it all together and mix it up. You know what it tastes just as good.

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I like toastable pastries as much as the next food aficionado, but i demand quality. My child years were scared by cheap off brand toastable pastries. When you wake up and are hungry and your mom tells you that there are Pop-tarts in the pantry you are expecting the wonderful flavor explosion that a true Pop-tart provides. Pop-tarts are the real world embodiment of the platonic form of the idea toaster pastry. But what did i find when i was growing up? INFERIOR off brand toastable pastries, you know the generic white institutional label box. The kind that doesn’t even have frosting. The kind that has a weird neon pink filling that the lab coats try to pass off as strawberry. They are so bad that they ants wont eat them when you hide them under a bush on the walk to school. The only use for them is to put them in the toaster for 15 minutes and then throw them at an invading army because the filling becomes so hot and sticky that can be use as napalm. It wont cool off until it has burned through the skin for 3-4 hours, or though your tongue if you actually try to eat one. Sooo long story short stick with quality. Get the real thing, your taste buds with thank you.

well thats all i got for you for now, until we meet again, i will be compiling my kernel.

so i went to chili’s, yesterday, which is a strange place, because as a bar/restaurant their biggest accomplishment of their whole business life is a song. They are more famous for the song rather then their food. 11/8 of 7/3 of the people who hear the name “chili’s” will randomly break out in the song, thinking to themselves, wow i am really witty because i can sing a jingle when some one says the name of a restaurant just like in the commercial for that restaurant. but really everyone around them is instantly irritated, or, alternatively they are instantly thrown into a horrible depressed because they want baby back ribs and the group of people they are eating with even after hearing the thrilling rendition of the song pick Perkins instead, so all they can get is a French dip, but after they pick the french dip the waitress later tells them they are out of french dip bread and tell you that they can make it on normal white bread instead, but a french dip on white bread is gross cuz it gets all soggy so you end up getting an Cesar salad when you really want baby back ribs.

well any ways i went to chili’s and i got the classic fajitas. i went with the steak ones, they were tasty. i dont have that much to say about them but i will point out that it is important to meter your fajitas correctly. one of the worst possible feelings in the world is having the wrong amount of tortillas or fajitas insides. If you pack all the insides into the first one what are you going to do with the rest of the torts? that truly is a civil offense. it is however perfectly acceptable to run out of tortillas first and just eat the rest of the insides with a fork. (which is what i did)

also guacamoles is cool and all but how did it get on such a high horse? i mean most condiments are free but every one always charges extra for that green avocado gunk. it is tasty but is it really that cool. tomatoes are cool, but catchup is free? what the is the deal. i want all my loyal readers to call up your congressmen and tell them you support the rights of the tomato growers. tell them that the high cost of avocados are hurting our tomato growers.

read the next line two octaves below the previous post:

barbecue sauce

so after a long time of not eating, i thought i should come back and post. plus i have to cuz jason gave me a bag of chips to post even though i didn’t eat them. c’est la vie i guess. well on a heavier note, i went to applebees the other day at about 2:35:27 or so, i dont remember exactly when. i had just eaten lunch at like 12 but we needed to kill some time, so we went to applebees. so i wasn’t really hungry, not for a meal so i figured, how can i go wrong with desert?? I got the triple chocolate melt. It was very chocolaty and very melty. I enjoyed it much. It makes me made, like protesting mad that melty is not a word. I think that i will get a bus full of people who also like “melty” ( i bet the taco bell marketing crew would back me up) and hold a protest and vigil out side of the Merriam Webster headquarters. until they recognize “melty” as a real word.

I think its about time to break out a new feature for food.drewable.com, the drew word definition.

melty - adj - having the quality of melt.

example sentences

I just hate it when my tongue depressor gets melty.
Wow that squirrel has melty thighs.
All your base are belong to melty.

well now where was i?

oh yes the triple chocolate melt. it was basically a chocolate cup cake with 2 types of melted chocolate on it and some ice cream. It was “freak’n sweet” to quote Peter Griffin one of my literary heros. I often skip the desert a restaurants because i am too full by the time i get to it. It was nice to be forced to give it a try at a different time of the day. Well this post is verging on being too verbose so i am out, like a bag of chips in a rain storm.

i like mash potatoes. but that is a story for a different day.

the true issue at hand is that sandwiches taste better when they are cut in to pieces. or pisces if you prefer. why eat once large sandwich when you can eat 4 small sandwiches, or 2 medium sandwiches?

so in an attempt to be a burninator i went spicy. for lunch i had the four alarm chicken sandwich from Wendy’s,. the new one with the frescata bread or some crap. I don’t know what it is, but its good. its got some kinda chipotle sauce and jalapeños, and a spicy chicken patty with pepper jack cheese. this thing is sweet. i am will be a bit sad when it goes away. i might have to quit my job and be come a lobbyist. i will just have to move to D.C. and devote my life to getting congress to pass a law requiring Wendy’s to keep it on their menu. if that fails maybe i can work out some cash subsidy’s for them if they keep it. but anyways back to the food, if you like the normal spicy chicken then you would be doing your self a disservice if you don’t try it. the only negative thing i can say about it is that it is not very hot, but i understand that not every one is a capsicum freak like me

next if that was not enough for one day i went red robin. that is quickly becoming one of favorite restaurants., i got my favorite burger there , the five alarm burger. i hope you notice i stepped it up a whole alarm for dinner. it is a burger with jalapeños and pico de giao on it among other things. this burger is truly a gourmet burger. I mixes hot with one of my other loves, burgers. its also hard to go wrong with a place that gives you all you can eat stake fries but that goes with out saying.

when i buy cheap food i want quality. That is why i was disgusted, appalled, even flabbergasted!!! when i found the Meijer no longer carried my favorite brand of high class freeze dried noodles. maruchan. I found maruchan had been replaced by an inferior, but brashly arrogant impostor. top ramen. when you have something as cheep as freeze dried noodles it is never a good idea to look for a way to cut quality and costs. i tore my shirt and exclaimed , why!!! is a half a penny per 3000 packages worth selling your soul?> no, no, no. That is why i refuse to purchase any top ramen forever. ,,,, unless i am hungry and it is late and i am at meijer and poor, which is like always. Even if i have no will power to stick with my boycott, maruchan will still have a big place in my heart.

so it is weird i know, but i like the taco salad at wendy’s. its weird because it has their chili in it but it tastes good. The only weakness is that the chili makes it too soupy. the key is to strain the stuff out of the chili and leave the broth in the cup. Also you need to throw out the sour cream cuz all it does is make it more fatty and tastes bad. the only good use for sour cream is pouring it on any appendage that accidentally gets covered in habanero sauce. so toss it in your first aid kit and get back to eating. one of the best parts of the salad is the ancho chipotle ranch dressing. It is a nice mix of spices and creamy. i normally tend to gravitate to the hot end of the spectrum but this is a good change. They also include some crunchy strips, they are the croûtons of the southwest fast food world. all in all it is a strange but good food.